The Pack is Together Again, and Forever.

SIERRA,   OLLIE,   LACEY

Lacey will always be the dog of my heart. I still see her walking with such dignity across the back yard, and I see her tail sticking up out of the snow when she's digging up a mole. I imagine seeing her the day Chuck met her, how she ran across the street and onto a snowbank, and would not come down. I remember birthdays with her first family, cutting an Alpo and dogbone cake in the park at Brown's River in Richmond. I remember it all, and hold it all present, in my heart now. 

Remembering You, Lacey

My beloved Lacey, honored as "ancestor" -- and why not?

Ancestor Honoring Ceremony, Sunday, November 1st, 5:30 P.M.

During late October and early November peoples in many cultures open their hearts and homes to the Ancestors. In commemorations such as All Souls Day and Dia de Los Muertos, we remember those who have gone before, and in doing so, have made our lives possible.

This ceremony acknowledges and appreciates those who have gone before us. Bring photos and stories of special beings you wish to acknowledge, vegetarian food and drink to share (perhaps something your ancestors would have enjoyed), and flowers and candles for the alter. We will request healings for all in the room who wish them, as well as for any ancestors who may be suffering. We will begin at 5 p.m., and share food after the ceremony.

JourneyWorks

11 Kilburn Street

Burlington, VT 05401

802-860-6203

journeyworksvt.com

Sierra, Ollie, and I were remembering Lacey today. We talked about the day Chuck went to meet Lacey, how she ran across the street, up on a snowbank, and wouldn't come down. I remembered the time we stopped to visit her first family, after she had been with us about 3 months. We were in the red truck. I opened the door and Lacey flew down the sidewalk, her ears straight out (like in this picture!) and feet barely touching ground. She rounded the corner, raced up the sidewalk and straight in through the open front door. We heard happy welcomes -- "Lacey! It's Lacey!' If ever there was a dog who had been loved, every day of her life, it was Lacey. Lacey, will always be the dog of my heart. I love Ollie and Sierra, but Lacey is part of my heart and soul.

Lacey's Stardust will be sprinkled....

Lacey's stardust will be sprinkled far and wide. The first grains will be flung from the dock at Malletts Bay Club, where she amazed us that day when she leaped off the dock into the great unknown, with paws outstretched and ears flying! We'll sprinkle her dust along the trails behind Brown Ledge Camp where we let Lacey run, hearts fearful when she disappeared for too long. Many grains will be sprinkled in our back yard at Appletree Point Farm where she and Ollie chased the squirrels and crows, day after day, never tiring of their game. Ollie would go out the dog door first, always following the same route through his office in the forsythia bushes, along the fence, then round and round the trees. Lacey would take a short cut, and if she beat Ollie he would bark frantically. You could hear him accusing Lacy of cheating, and she was shameless! She had short legs, and "cheating" was the only way she could beat him! Sometimes Ollie would patiently stalk a squirrel, standing still as a statue, waiting for his prey to come closer, then suddenly Lacey would charge ahead, ruining his strategy. Yes, lots of sprinkles in our back yard. And sprinkles at Converse Home, where Lacey was a Therapy Dog for 4 years. She was honored as a Hometown Hero on TV. Her special friends Gayle and Connie will decide where to sprinkly her. We'll send sprinkles to Lacey's loved ones, to place wherever they wish -- the Gavins, the LeBria's, Wendy, Art and Nina. And I'd like to send some sprinkles to South Africa, where the magnificent big animals live in Pilansberg Park, and to the poet Antonio Pietropaoli to sprinkle in Morolo, Italy. I know Lacey would have liked it there. Antonio has a springer that reminded me of Lacey.

Lacey's stardust, Lacey's golden, and Lacey's found her way back to the garden!

Lacey took the leap

We reminded Lacey of how she used to LEAP off the dock and go flying out onto the water, ears flying, all four paws spread out like "OK here I come, the world's bravest dog!" landing belly-flat with a big splash! We'd laugh and whoop and jump in with her. Once she was chasing a duck that kept swimming out beyond her reach, slowing so she could catch up, then taking off with another wing-flapping, water-churning burst of speed. We waited for Lacey to give up, but she didn't, and Chuck had to go after her in the power boat.

Nancy went to the vet to get sedation pills, because Lacey was having trouble breathing and could not move. Thank you, Nancy. Wendy called and told Lacey stories about how much we love her, and her tail wagged. Chuck called to talk with her, and her tail wagged! Granddad came home from doing errands, and her tail wagged. The wonderful home-visit vet came, and her tail wagged! She was peaceful and happy, not in pain, and she looked so beautiful because she went to the groomer last week. Dr. McMillan confirmed that it was time. Her lungs were bad, and she was bloated. Imagine being so sick, and still wagging her tail! Dr. McMillan administered barbiturates, enough to stop her heart gently. Granddad was stroking her head, Sierra was nearby, I rubbed her tummy. She knew we were all there. We said, "Go on Lacey, jump off the dock my girl." And we pictured her flying bravely off into the great unknown.

The wonderful Dr. asked us if we needed time to say goodbye, said she would wait outside in the van as long as we needed. I was very touched by that. She had left her office during clinic to be with Lacey. I told her we wouldn't need much time, that we have been saying goodbye for a month. Thank you Lacey for waking up from the surgery and giving us this time. We really needed it, you knew that. Now go Lacey girl, jump off the dock!

THE WENDY EFFECT

This is amazing. We call it "the Wendy effect" and it is wonderful. Lacey had a good night, eagerly ate her chicken this morning, went outside with Sierra and Ollie, checked out the yard with her usual curiosity, and came in tail-wagging happy. She was on the big high bed in Chuck's room when he said "Let's go, upstairs." She leaped off the end of the bed, ran down the hall with the pack, and up the stairs, no problem! This is the usual morning routine, except this morning Lea was hovering nearby, observing [she is usually sound asleep]. We know it's one day at a time, and oh my, this is one special day!

Wendy's phonecall perks Lacey up!

Wednesday:

Evening: Lacey ate chicken for dinner, and she went in and out throughout the evening, as usual. When I came home from a meeting around 9:30, all three dogs met me at the door with tails wagging. We made it through another day. Thanks to everyone who sent hugs and prayers -- Wendy, dad, mom, Craig, Aileen, Michael, Steve and Donna. Friends and loved ones, you are wonderful, and I am grateful.

Noon: I talked with the vet, and he said to encourage Lacey to walk. I called mom, and she said give it a try. Then Wendy called, and I switched the phone to speaker and rested it on Lacey's paw. She perked up! and her tail wiggled! Wendy told her stories about how much fun it was to visit her in the old days, how when we picked her up at the airport, Lacey would try to climb over the back seat, she was so excited to see Wendy. She told Lacey how she liked sleeping in the loft at the camp, but moved to a bed downstairs because Lacey and Sierra sat at the bottom of the loft ladder and whimpered. "So I moved downstairs so we could all sleep together," she reminded Lacey. Lacey was so happy to hear Wendy's voice! Her tail wiggled weakly, but it definitely wiggled! Taking advantage of her revived spirits, I got her leash and said cheerily, "Let's go out!" Lacey was willing! I lifted her to the floor, and she walked slowly through the kitchen and out the back door. She stayed long enough to pee, and then trotted back inside.

I lifted her up onto Chuck's bed, called Chuck to tell him the good news, and set up my "office" on the bed. Sierra is sleeping next to Lacey, as usual, and Ollie the hyper-dog is on guard, running outside if he sees anything move in the backyard. Art is doing errands, and when he comes home Lacey will be near him, too, because this is his office during the day. We're so glad Art is here. We never have to leave Lacey alone, and I know it means a lot to Lacey to have her granddad close by. It means a lot to all of us!

Morning: When Chuck left for work this morning at 6am, he told me Lacey can't move. In the night she acted like she wanted to go out, he said, but she couldn't walk. It's 8am now, she seems comfortable, and she's breathing regularly. She drank some water. She perked up briefly when granddad got up, lifted her head and watched him cross the hall. Sierra is right by her side. Imagine that they were born together, at age 3 they were reunited, and they have been together ever since. Sierra just stretched closer to Lacey, and put her head on Lacey's paw. Lacey twitched the way she does when she's dreaming of running through the field to the lake -- I'd watch her race off, ears flying out, she looked so beautiful running in the grass and wildflowers -- and she would come running back muddy and a complete mess. But not today. Today it's a dream, and she's fresh from the groomer. I combed her ears a little while ago, and as usual Sierra and Oliver lined up for their turn, too.

Tuesday: What a good day Lacey had today! She ate a little fussy, but she ate healthy. She spent the early afternoon with her groomer. I stayed near -- next door is a nail salon owned by our friend Hong Chow. She told me that she and her family are going to VietNam and Cambodia in January and she's nervous. Hong lived in Williston when the kids were growing up, and being with her always makes me feel good. She has massage chairs, and whirlpool footbaths, and Hong let me stay there for three hours! They came to get me when Lacey was ready -- and Wow, she looked bright eyed and beautiful! and she was full of energy. When we got home she went straight away to show off for granddad. Before dinner we took a walk around the bikepath and Stirling/Alexis loop, and Lacey had her full good energy. It was wonderful! She went out at bedtime with Lacey and Sierra, as usual. It was a peaceful, normal evening, like she wasn't sick at all. Tuesday, October 9, 2007.

Lacey has another good day!

I had so much fun making this picture with Kenny, Ollie and Sulli on top of the grape arbor. How did I do that? Kenny and I were talking about it when he was here for Lacey's family party last week. I've been searching for the picture ever since. Tonight I found it! Lacey is in front of Amanda, and Sierra is up-side-down on Marie's lap!

These pictures were taken 4 years ago. Lacey was 5 years old, Kenny was 10. Ollie was 1 year old, and Chuck was 53. It was a good year for grapes.

It's been 18 days since Lacey's surgery. She's gained her weight back, and her hematocrit is in the normal range, tho' not yet as high as is normal for her. Before her surgery she didn't want to walk after dinner, and now she is right out there by the door with her tail wagging. She leads the way going down the driveway, pulling on her leash. She's fussy about her food -- wants everything with peanut butter on it, but Chuck says peanut butter is NOT on her special diet. He makes special meals for her, everything fresh and loaded with iron, protein and antioxidants. Can you imagine -- she eats chopped mustard greens, soybeans and tofu on brown rice? And peanut butter.

Lacey's Family Party, and friends, too!

The Gavins joined us for Lacey's Family Party. Everyone had special time with Lacey -- here's Kenny whispering in her ear! We used to do this every year to celebrate Lacey's big family. She has been loved and cared for every minute of her life, and we're all here to attest to that! The LeBria's couldn't make it tonight, and will visit another day. Lacey has a big circle of love around her, and we are so grateful for that.

At dinner, Lacey sat at the head of the table, wishing for leftovers, of course.

LACEY, Chuck, Kenny, Jonathan, Marie, Lynn, Amanda, John. When she first came to live with us, I used to chant the names to Lacey at bedtime so he could hear familiar sounds she loved and dream sweet dreams. She would wag her tail happily. Now we'll do it again, to remind Lacey of her big family and wide circle of friends -- Wendy, Brian, Harley, Jagger, Aileen, Amy, Gayle, Andrew, Connie, Lorraine, Roselynn, Elsie, Neil, John, Karen, Nina, Maggie, Annie, Imani.....

Friday -- Hematocrit 30!

Lacey went to see Dr. Wolf on Friday. She got her staples out. Her weight is 42.6 (up a pound!) and her hematocrit is 30 (up 5 points!), which means her body is getting stronger and making lots of red blood cells. We talked about the new diet. Dr. Wolfe suggested a special Hill's canned food that starves cancer, but it is made of meat by-products so Chuck says no. City Market has lots of organic, free range, hormone-free, drug-free Vermont chicken! So Lacey will live out her life realizing her heart's desire -- a steady diet of people food, specially prepared by Chef Chuck and his Sous Chef Lea!
Other ingredients: brown rice, olive oil, organic carrots, garlic, parsley, vites C, E, andA, Thorne Veterinary Immugen, sardines, Chinese ginseng, Twin Lab Cell Boost with IP-6, Lipiderm, Essiac tea, lowfat yogurt, and echinacea.

Thursday, Lacey's Special Diet!

Our friend Linda said to put Lacey on the cancer diet! We searched the internet, and found a story about a dog who lived 6 years on a special cancer diet and guess what?, it's what we eat normally (except for the chicken and sardines!). So Lacey will share our dinner, with chicken, vitamins and special tea added -- click on: Lacey's Diet. Although I went to bed with hope in my heart, there was fear in my mind. I kept waking up, wondering what is so terribly wrong? And then I'd remember, Lacey! and everything in my body curled up and hurt. This morning was my worst day -- I was tired and the sadness of Lacey fighting a horrible cancer overwhelmed me. She's so little, she doesn't understand what is happening to her inside. I remember a friend who had a dog with cancer, and his wife said they thought they could save her with love. I understand. We seek out everyone who loves Lacey -- her friends at Converse Home, her first families, people far away (especially Wendy!). When we go out to play, the other dogs run around the yard. Lacey used to be the fastest -- Chuck called her LFO -- Little Fast One! Now she stands in one spot and looks anxious, shifting her weight back and forth. She had special time with Art before he went for his surgery. I went to the Heineberg Center and friends gave me lots of hugs, which I really needed! I am so grateful to them. Right now Lacey is asleep on the couch with her buddies...and We treasure every minute of her lovely life!


Wednesday we got the biopsy report: hemangiosarcoma -- one of the worst cancers. As we read about it, we realized that the vet in the emergency room did everything exactly right -- the right tests, the correct diagnosis, the right surgical procedure. Lacey was in the care of angels. A few more hours and her body could not have survived. She would not have made it if the doctor hadn't known exactly what to do, and that it had to be done surely and quickly. If Chuck hadn't recognized the seriousness of her condition. If we hadn't had a 24hr emergency surgery vet hospital nearby. All these things saved Lacey's life! We are so grateful.

Tuesday -- BEST DAY YET!

Lacey was energetic all day. She went in and out the dog door on the screen porch, and once when we couldn't find her in the house she was outside sleeping in the sun! It was 80degrees today! We ate dinner outside, and when Oliver raced off to chase a squirrel, Lacey went with him, as usual. It took a few seconds for us to realize what happened -- Lacey is running! we cheered for her. Our Lacey isn't sick anymore! After dinner, she got in her favorite spot on grand dad's lap. She likes to be near Art, especially when he eats his dessert! And she likes to sleep on his bed while he reads.

Lacey's belly still has staples, but it is completely healed. Next week they will be removed. What a strong little healer she is!

MONDAY -- hematocrit is 25!

On Monday Lacey was feeling lousy. She was throwing up, and we put her out in her chair on the porch. Art was her nurse, stayed near her so she didn't jump out of the chair, and to watch her in case she felt sick again. The vet said the antibiotics might be upsetting her stomach, and he took her off them for 24 hrs. He didn't want to stop her food, because she's making red blood cells! She didn't eat much dinner, but she took her vitamin pill and her pain medication.

SATURDAY WAS A VERY BUSY DAY

On Saturday, Lacey had an early morning appointment to check her hematocrit. It was UP to 19.5, not a big increase but moving in the right direction. Since she was already in the van, we asked the vet if she could visit Converse Home, as she always does on Saturday morning. She could stay in the van. and people could come out to visit her. The vet said OK, and off we went!

When we arrived, I went in and invited several of Lacey's friends to come see her. I explained that she had emergency surgery -- a tumor removed, and her spleen removed -- and that she was on the mend. I asked people to help her heal with love and happy thoughts.

Well, what a response! All her friends came out. Gail sat with her a long while, touching her gently, sharing love. There was total silence, just a knowing and sharing friendship of several years that needs no words. Lacey's energy got strong, and I lifted her out. She walked around, peed, and stopped to visit with several people, which is her job there. Then I lifted her back into the van, and we realized we had not seen Connie.

Someone went to get Connie! When she arrived, she was very upset to learn so suddenly that Lacey had an emergency, but when she saw her it was reassuring. Connie wasted no time getting right in the van with Lacey -- just like when Lacey went to see Connie in the hospital and jumped right upon her bed! Connie stayed close by Lacey until the last minute to go to lunch. Again, there was that quiet, trembling knowing and sharing of love between friends. I can hardly describe it, and hope I have come close to conveying the deep feeling of this time. Lacey is so lucky to have so many friends.

When we got home, it was back in the van for a road trip to visit Dr. Marceau in Sharon, VT. Lacey wanted to come up on the porch and visit with everyone. There was a little boy there who was playing with toys. Lacey lay near him and napped while the boy played. We thought that she was probably remembering her first family, the Gavins -- Amanda, Marie, Kenny, Jonathan, John and Lynn. I used to say their names to Lacey so she would have the comfort of familiar sounds. She would wag her tail, and I knew she remembered them. And her other first family, the LeBria's who raised Sierra and Lacey's litter from birth. We're so grateful that Lacey lived with love, every minute of her life.

Lacey's Surgery is Successful!

Friday, Sept 21: Lacey has a big circle of love around her, and we are very grateful for that. Her spleen was removed, and they took 1.5 liters of bloody fluid out of her abdominal cavity. She lost 11 lbs in the surgery! That's 20% of her body weight -- like me losing 26 lbs! The biopsy results will be done by next week. The surgeon is pretty sure the cancer has spread because there were some other suspicious areas. We're not sure at all! Her liver is fine, her heart is strong. We'll take it one healing day at a time.

Thursday, Sept 20: Lacey was bloated and lethargic, wouldn't eat, and when Chuck got home he and Art took her straight away to the emergency vet hospital in Williston. We are so lucky to have one so near! They waited for me to get there, and operated soon after I arrived.

They wanted us to have some time with Lacey, because Chuck had told them (as we have agreed) not to wake her up if she is in bad shape, and not to do CPR if she went out during surgery. They knew it was a tumor, probably spleen, liver could be involved because she was anemic, and jaundiced. Anyway, the understanding we have is not to wake the dog up if it's bad, and dnr if she leaves. We talked it over with Lacey, and told her she could go if she wanted to, we'd understand and her grandmother Rita would be there for her.

It probably sounds weird (not to Wendy, bless her), but Lacey understood, I could tell by how she acted and the look she gave us. We were walking outside on the lawn, and Lacey could barely walk. After we talked, as we came back in the hospital, she got more strength and led the way -- marched right back toward the surgery area, and stood calmly by the doctor (who was eating her dinner!). There was a momentary deep panic in her eyes as we turned to walk away, then she was calm again.

Two hours later the doctor came out and said, "Lacey did fine in the surgery, and she's waking up now." We will never forget the joy inside us when we heard those words! You know how you ask someone to repeat, and repeat good news, how you hear it but you have to hear it again, and again?

She stayed the night. I picked her up at 7am. Took her to our regular vet, Dr. Wolf (really, that's her real name! and she is wonderful). Lacey spent the day in their recovery room. They monitor heart (cardiac is the major complication when the spleen is removed), fluid intake and hematocrit. Her well-dog baseline hematocrit is 46; it had dropped to 25 last night; it was down to 18 this morning. It stabilized at 18, so they let her come home with us tonight. She is bright eyed and her tail wags. She's tired, but she's 100% here with us. (Well, technically she is minus one spleen and a lot of her red blood cells.) We are so grateful!

We thought it would kill us to lose one of our dogs, but we found out that when the dog is very sick or in pain, we want her to be able to go. We faced that last night, didn't want her to see us cry and feel confused, we asked her to try really hard to have a good surgery, but if she wanted to go it was ok, we would honor her choice, and not to worry about us, we'd be ok. We talked to Wendy several times, and to Lacey's first family, the Gavins, and we all agreed on the decision, told Lacey we loved her, and waited. "Lacey's waking up now..." the words sped to Richmond VT and to Steamboat Springs CO -- LACEY WOKE UP!

LACEY is perfectly healthy in the mind of God. My friend Marilyn shows me how to handle sadness about Lacey's material health. She says if I look deep into Lacey's eyes and see her spiritual reality, perfect and forever in the mind of God, I will see her joy and share it. So now when I look at Lacey, I look deep into her eyes, and there is her reality: perfect and joyful, running through a golden grassy field of wildflowers with her ears flying out like that nun, forever! Namaste.

Lacey dreams of running across the field, down to the lake for a swim.
She would do that! On hot days, she would suddenly take off running, returning a few minutes later soaking wet.

Lacey, the beautiful one.
We'd tell the groomer, "Give her the fancy cut, she's the beautiful one."
She was vain, she posed prettily, she was dainty, and she didn't like to get her feet dirty!

Wendy called Lacey to say goodbye, and to tell her how much she loves her.